Treated like a Lady

Friday night I went downtown with some friends to dinner and dessert. I haven't been into the city all summer, so I was really looking forward to it. I got off work early and stopped in at Francescas and bought a whole new outfit for the evening. I hadn't treated myself to a dress of my own choosing in quite a while (no offense to all the bridesmaid dresses I wore this summer). I felt very nice.
It was not a date, but one of my friends picked me up in his car and drove me to the city to meet our friends. I've never been picked up before. The simple act of picking me up, paying for the gas to get down there stuck in traffic for two hours, and paying for parking were such a gift to me. But the kindness of the evening didn't end there. My dinner ended up being paid for, as well as dessert at the Cheesecake Factory (my favorite!) by my friend's boyfriend. The tips were covered, and I never even paid a dime. I was not expecting to be treated to such generosity that night. And it overwhelmed me.
I know I'm not the typical 22 year old when it comes to dates or other generally typical activities of people my age. But perhaps the fact that I am not at all accustomed to having guys/men treat me like a lady can be a blessing; it doesn't take much to floor me. To those guys, maybe it wasn't a big deal to pick me up, or pay for parking, or cover expenses for the evening. But then again, maybe it was.  And they still did it. Not because they felt obligated, or out of charity, but because they are good guys and they wanted to. I'm still overwhelmed at their simple acts that went so far for me.
I've never been wined and dined. I've never had a guy pick me up for dinner at my door instead of meeting him somewhere. I've never had someone say "No no, I've got it." And to be given that when we were all just friends was truly a gift to me. There was no pressure, no awkwardness. Just good people. And it was one of the most refreshing nights of my summer.

So if there are any guys out there reading this: you have great power! If the majority of girls appreciate those little things one tenth as much as I appreciated last night, then please don't hesitate to treat them with the "old school" gestures. Those "traditional" acts bespeke gentility, not simply interest. Doing those things for a girl doesn't have to be because you like her. It can simply be because she's a lady. And maybe if we were treated like that more often we wouldn't have to teach ourselves how to be the unprecedented independant women we're told we have to be. I know I'd happily abandon some of my independance for that on a regular basis.

And ladies: Be the kind of recipient to those acts that he would want to give them to.  I wasn't surprised by their generosity to me because I didn't think they were capable of it: no, I was surprised because I was unacustomed to having a guy treat me so well (not to mention at all). So I don't think its wrong to expect it of them in a way that says "I know you are a good man." But if and when you do find yourself on the honored and humble end of the giving, do not hide your gratitude. I think it is sad that these types of experiences are so hard to come by today, and we are thus deficient in our response. I knew that the evening would hold no romantic expectations, so we were free to be adults both in the giving and receiving. He gave, and I was profuse in my gratitude. Everyone felt appreciated and welcome.

I could go on and on about what a great night it was. Now lest you think I wasn't treated well growing up by the men in my life, I was. But I'm simply not accustomed to guys doing nice things like picking you up and paying for your evening no matter who you are to them. But simply because its good, and they wanted to, and  because I'm a woman who appreciates it. And maybe...just maybe...because I'm a lady who deserves being treated like one? whew...now that's a  thought I've never entertained before now.