The Son of Man (Jesus) came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’
Matthew 11:19
You could say I grew up pretty sheltered and safe. And I am so thankful for that childhood. I had a wonderful family, a great church, and a safe Christian school. I went to the premier Christian college in the country, and there received an invaluable education backed by a truly incredible Christian reputation. I don't begrudge one cent of my student loans. It was completely worth it.
But despite the Youth Camps and events, and the missions trips to Europe, and the unbelievable Christian training, I've never had to share my faith in an environment that wasn't already receptive to it. I've been primed to be a light to the world, but I have really only been to places that are pretty well lit. This is not to say I haven't encountered challenges to my faith in the world. But when I finally got out and started working, I suddenly found myself faced with a clear decision to either speak up about my faith, or stay quiet. Its not always an easy decision, and it requires constant communion with the Holy Spirit.
I'm not a shy person. I enjoy articulating what I believe. But I've always been surrounded by people just like me, similar-minded. And believe me, it has been wonderful! I've experienced true community more than most people have. Yet I've always felt that although I contribute much to the Christian community, I haven't really invested myself in the larger community of humanity.
However, since leaving Wheaton, I've been blessed with opportunities to push my faith and prove to myself and others that
" I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes." (Romans 1:16)
Maybe it was pride. Maybe I feared corruption. Maybe I was scared to fail God. Maybe I didn't think my faith was strong enough. Whatever the reason, I haven't been obedient to God when he said to take the Gospel of salvation to the world.
Until now.
It started with statements like "I will pray for you" when someone was going through something. Then it was asking to pray with them at that moment. Then I started seeking opportunities to pray for people, and asked God to give me his eyes to see people the way he did. It is so much easier to love people through a lens of unconditional grace. And then eventually, I started to dialog about my faith. And whenever those opportunities have arisen, all my lifetime of training and scripture memory and the prayers of generations before flow through me, and I don't sound like a complete idiot. And I get to see God softening hearts.
Mark 13 says, "You must be on your guard... On account of me you will stand before governors and kings as witnesses to them. 10 And the gospel must first be preached to all nations. 11 Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit."
Now I haven't been on trial, nor have I stood before governors and kings. But in opening myself to the opportunities that He gives me to share why I believe what I believe, it is easier than I thought.
[Dr. Jerry Root would be so proud of me. That Evangelism class should be a requirement to graduate.]
I have traveled all over the country in the past 3 years, and hung out with fewer Christians than ever before. Hanging out with "sinners" has been exactly what my faith needed. I've been to all manner of "ungodly" places. And when I've allowed Jesus to remain the center of my life, I suddenly see that I didn't bring him into the bar or music venue or modeling session or trade show floor or restaurant with me. He was already there. He was already working on the souls with whom I was graciously allowed to interact. I am part of the "sinners" he was hanging out with!
A little while back I found myself at a venue late in the evening that I otherwise would not have been to. I'm not really a late night, bar-scene kind of girl. But here I was, a bit uncomfortable, out late with a guy I barely knew. There are good, Godly people I know who would have judged me at that moment. But I was in control and I wasn't putting myself into any bad situations. I was safe, so I let myself lighten up. And suddenly I started seeing people through His eyes: their brokenness, their joy, their passions. It was humanity, pulsing and dancing and glowing like the plants in the movie Avatar. It was beautiful, and heartbreaking. I saw the need, and I was reminded again why Jesus had to die. And in that moment Jesus pulled the veil of self-righteousness off my eyes, and let me into his heart. I left that evening thinking that Jesus isn't just in our prayer groups and Bible studies. He's at the bars and runways and restaurants and beaches and airports. He is "drawing all mankind to himself" (John 12:32). He isn't just MY saving grace. He is the world's, for those who would believe.
So my name is Kelly. I'm a sinner. I've been saved by grace. And I'm a friend to sinners who are and are not just like me. I don't want to be known for what I'm against. I'm following humanities' biggest advocate. He is for us!
Jesus, Friend of Sinners, open our eyes to the end of our pointing fingers.
I was the lost cause. I was the outcast.
He died for sinners just like me.
(Disclaimer: For any young people reading this, I am not advocating close companionship with people who share different values than you. I have a tight community of people who are in constant communion with me, to encourage and challenge and hold me accountable. In my opinion, you MUST have a solid Christian community if you want to be truly effective in living a life in pursuit of holiness and obedience to sharing the Gospel.)
