Another fond memory is when Grandma saw me eating a slice of cheese by itself. She was horrified that I would snack on that alone. Apparently it wasn't adequate. She would also pay me and Kyle a quarter if we drank our entire glass of milk. And we always had ice cream in a cone for dessert. It was our special treat...only if we at all our food. And that was more of a challenge when she was the one who did the cooking. Compared with my mom who was a caterer, Grandma wasn't particularly gifted in the culinary arts. There were times that my mom could barely swallow some of the food....oh those were funny moments! Always seeking to avoid any offence though, we swallowed until we gagged sometimes. I distinctly remember floppy, chewy, yellowy asparagus. And extremely over-lemoned tilapia. And lots and lots of peas. Always peas. And we had to eat our Lima beans with applesauce. Oh, and one could never forget the waffles. If you even know our family, you know about Grandma's Waffles. They were her own special recipe. She even included it in the back of her novel. If you followed the recipe just right and didn't overcook them, you just might turn out a perfect replica both in taste and texture of a 5x5 piece of cardboard. Syrup didn't quite do it, no matter the quantity. If you were lucky enough to be graced with the opportunity to join us on a Waffle day, you would not forget it. And you would have an early lunch once you left.
One thing that was always a tough subject for us was my singleness. Grandma never understood why I was/am always single. She wanted to hear all the details of any and every banquet date I had. How they asked me. What we did. Was he interested in me? Was I in him? Why not? Without fail, I would get the question "So have you met anyone at school?" Then in college "Have you met anyone up there yet? Any boys from the basketball team?". Then my sophomore year when I left for college, grandma informed me that she had asked God to send me "a tall, handsome Baritone, so that he can sing with you!" If you knew my Grandma, you would know that she and God have serious conversations. So I actually half believed her! It was the one dream of hers she had for me: to see me happily paired with a tall, handsome man who would provide for me. Its a dream that she will never see fulfilled now since she's gone. And for that my heart breaks, because it was a dream of mine too. But its a dream I know God will fulfill in His own time. But I would have loved for her and Papa to dance at my wedding. I asked them to dance at Kyle's. After Papa's accident, they were physically unable to. It was a miracle that they were both alive and present to witness at least one of their 15 grandchildren getting married. What a gift that was!
But, conversely, maybe I'm single because I never heeded Grandma's advice: she told me never to wear heels, that I was already tall enough, and guys don't like girls that are too tall. She was never a short woman herself, so I always wondered at that because she wore heels in some of her pictures. And during my particularly pertinent years, I would wear the biggest heels I owned whenever I would stop by their house after church. Oh, did that get a reaction out of her! You would have thought I had decided to be celibate or lesbian with the way she thought I repelled men in heels! I loved it.
The one area she was truly proud of me was my music. She loved to hear me sing. Sometimes when I was over, she'd play the piano for me and sing with me to the hymns she loved. Papa and Grandma always had to be coerced to attend any of my volleyball or basketball games, but they were always there for any recital or other musical performance. I remember being told one time how she had bragged on my singing. It made me so proud! And then she told me I got it from my great great grandmother, the one she eventually wrote her novel about. I was so happy about that! I felt I had received a special gift/talent as a heritage, or even an heirloom. When my cousin Helen ended up also possessing a beautiful soprano voice, we would sing together for the family. Grandma loved those times.
Grandma was never particularly good at the doting-affectionate-grandmotherly role. But she loved our family reunions with a passion. I loved the traditions that her and Papa implemented: of spending either Christmas or Thanksgiving together each year in alternating fashion. The usual spread at family meals. The strict adherence to the rule of the adults sitting at the adult table, and the kids sitting at the kids table. This has continued even as the oldest 6 grandkids are in or done with college.
As a family, we would always pray together. Always. We would read scripture for a long time, and we would pray. And each of us, no matter our age, would have to pray. God was always the center of our family. And my Grandmother prided herself on having four wonderful godly children who married four wonderful godly spouses and raised 15 wonderful god-fearing grandkids, two of which have found wonderful godly soulmates. Grandma prayed for all those things, every day, and with all her heart. Even though she will never see her prayer for me and my marriage fulfilled, I know that God will answer her in His time. And that is a comfort, because even though she won't be here for it, she will most definitely have had a hand in it.
Like I mentioned, Grandma loved her classic romance stories. Anything John Wayne was a particular favorite, as well as the old hollywood musical duo Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald. That was the couple my grandma based my future off of. If Jeanette was able to find a hunk who could sing, why not me? I ask myself the same question Grandma: why not me?
And Grandma loved her treats. I don't really remember a time when there wasn't a carton of ice cream in their freezer. Mint Cholocate Chip. Sometimes something lush like Moose Tracks. But always Vanilla. She loved her store bought Aldi cookies. There was one time when Kyle and I went shopping with her at the Harris Teeter across from Carolina Day School. We had a whole cart full of grocery bags, and Grandma had us wait for her with the cart while she got the car. She picked us up, and the next thing we knew we were halfway home when Kyle turned around in the back seat of their Honda station wagon and declared that we'd forgotten the groceries! That was a funny time. The only part of Grandma's reaction that I remember, besides her surprise, was her laughing and laughing. Looking back at that now, I would do well to take a tip from her behavior then.
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