The past couple weeks have been me in search of discipline. I have been trying to implement more discipline into the major areas of my life. Those areas include spiritual, physical and financial.
Budgeting, exercise and diet, and the art of listening to God are things that have always consumed many of my thoughts, but have never been a success for me. The money always runs out too fast and too soon. The weight is gained back, the flab returns. I seem "dry" spiritually, or God seems "distant". I've played the excuse card too often to not see that I'm the one responsible, and life is only going to get busier and more complicated anyway.
I realized that I needed to get control of my habits completely during this current phase of my life. I no longer play sports, so for the first time in my life I'm not required to work out. I no longer attend school ( at present) so working a full time job and managing my money and paying bills is necessary. And most importantly, I'm not inundated by spiritual paraphernalia through my school anymore. I learned how to make my faith my own when I went to Poland and then to college. Now I have to learn how to make my faith REAL and LIVING in a world that thinks its a joke.
A certain instance occured about 2 weeks ago where I found myself extremetly upset and angry and frustrated about something. I was ranting and raving when it hit me that I should "practice" listening to God and see what his thoughts were on the matter, fully expecting silence. So I asked God what he thought about it, and if he could give me soemthing to help me handle it? And immediately a name flashed into my head: Ruth. From the Bible. As in Naomi, Boaz, Ruth. I wasn't sure what it meant at first so I did some studying. Turns out I wasn't as familiar with the good ol' Ruth Bible story as I thought. When I read it through my new "Wheaton College Alumna" glasses, I found some cool things that really were words from the Lord for me.
The Book of Ruth is of course a story about Ruth, but she isn't really the "lead" character of the story in the sense of stage time or lines. Naomi and Boaz get most of the costume changes and spotlight. The story begins with Naomi, and Ruth is the newly widowed childless girl who takes a leap of faith and follows Naomi back to Israel (they were in Moab). Then Naomi tells Ruth how to go about fixing their situation. Ruth obeys. Set change, costume change: Ruth takes another step out of the boat and goes and puts herself completely at Boaz's disposal. Pretty brave and bold. Then Act II is all about Boaz going to great lengths to secure Ruth as his own so he can be her kinsman-redeemer. Thus the story ends as Ruth becoming the great-great-great grandmother to King David, and ultimately our Savior Jesus Christ.
The part about Ruth not being the lead in the story definitely stuck out to me. But my handy dandy study Bible also pointed out her main qualities: She was loyal, obediant, and patient. Loyal to her new, if not strange, family. Obediant to Naomi, her motherinlaw and also to God. Patient in that although her entire existence rested on whether or not things fell into place with Boaz, she did not force anything or freak out (so far as I know).
I really think God was trying to tell me to be like Ruth. I know that this may sound simple to you who may be reading about this "like duh". But really- I think Ruth has everything I don't. So since then, I've really been trying to practice the disciplines of patience, obediance and loyalty. I've felt so much peace!
I've been reading and implementing Dave Ramsey's Financial Freedom book. I've been doing Tony Horton's P90X every day. I've been eating an all fruits, veggies, protien diet. And I've been resting in Jesus.
Now lest you think life has become breezy, my finances are great, and I look svelt and gorgeous, no. If anything everything seems to have become harder or more discouraging. But Ruth's situation was more dire than mine. And I will not quit. Like I said, I've not had peace like this in a while. God provides.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Story
If you have ever read Donald Miller's book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" you would have an idea of what "story" is. I recommend his book. Its very insightful and thought provoking.
Here are a few excerpts from Chapter 25 of the book where Miller reflects on story while listening to a speaker at a conference on writing:
"The first part of a story happens fast, and you think the thing is going to be over soon. But it isn’t going to be over soon. The reward you get from a story is always less than you thought it would be, and the work is harder than you imagined. It’s as though the thing is teaching you the story is not about the ending but about the story itself, about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle....I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought and they can’t see the distant shore anymore and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their wife, on their husband, they go looking for an easier story. Robert McKee [speaker at a conference] put his coffee cup down and leaned onto the podium. He put his hand on his forehead and wiped his grey hair back. He said you have to go there, you know. You have to take your character to the place where they just can’t take it anymore. He looked at us with a tenderness we hadn’t seen in him before. You’ve been there, haven’t you? You’ve been out on the ledge. The marriage is over now, the dream is over now, nothing good can come from this. He got louder. Writing a story isn’t about making your peaceful fantasies come true. The whole point of the story is the character arc. You didn’t think joy could change a person, did you? Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over. But it’s conflict that changes a person. He was shouting now. You put your characters through hell. You put them through hell. That’s the only way we change."
I think this is the chapter that stuck with me the most. What story really is. I agree with Miller. The reward you get from a story is always less than you thought it would be and harder than you imagined.
I rediscovered this during my 3 day retreat this week into the world of Suzanne Collin's bestselling trilogy The Hunger Games. I began book 1 Monday afternoon and finished it that night. I began the second book Tuesday after work and finished it before work on Wednesday. I bought the 3rd book and finished it before work on Thursday. It contends for the best trilogy I've ever read. Francine River's Mark of the Lion trilogy and Tolkein's Lord of the Rings are different genres. (Harry Potter, Twilight and Chronicles of Narnia are not trilogies and therefore excluded).
I was consumed with the story Collin's created. It incorporated every facet of story that my soul relishes. It had the adventure and action, the thought provoking issues, the flavor of romance and the twist of fantasy thrust into a riveting plot with incredible characters and depth. I was engulfed. However, as with all great stories that end, there is the cost. Characters die, or are irreversibly altered. The unthinkable happens, and devastation occurs. It is hard to read when I come to this part in a story. Part of me resists it with suffocating emotion, while the other part of me knows how crucial it is in making the story a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Oh how I hate what occurs, but I accept it all the same because it is necessary, in a way, for the story to be fulfilled. It would have not held me spell bound until the last page and even after had it not occurred the way it did.
And then I fall into the post-book depression in which I re-enter reality in a sort of dazed state as I try and process the end of one of the greatest stories I have ever read. It is always so difficult for me to exit one world and re-enter my own. Its like that for me in movies like Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and most of all Avatar (in theaters only). Those epic stories that have every element...love and hate, fear and loss, justice and mercy, life and death, good and evil, redemption and destruction, resolution and conflict...they satisfy my soul in some way.
I gave a speech at my high school graduation about how I wanted to live that kind of life- one fraught with the crucial elements of a great story, but that always ends with a happily ever after. As much as I love my happy endings though, its the stories that have the crooked but believable endings that I remember.
The Hunger Games trilogy was not my typical happy ending. Not all the characters survived, and not all that was good was preserved. I was heartsick over this because above all I want the conclusion to stories to be satisfactory in every respect.
But that is part of what made the story so great. It gave me Reality in Fantasy. I usually only go for truly Fantasy in Fantasy.
And the way stories touch me always drive me back to my Lord. I thank him for imagination, and the way he created us so amazingly that we can create Story that touches our heartstrings so firmly. And then I have to remind myself that there is no greater story being told than the one that I've living in. Every other story ever written was in some way based off of it. Because you can't have Story without characters. And you can't have characters without change. And you can't have change without conflict. And conflict brings us back to the journey for our own happy endings...wholeness, love, peace, hope. This is the force that drives humanity. This is the force that drives story. And that is the story of Jesus Christ. And that, dear friends, is a resolution that truly satisfies my soul. Because that is our story, and it is epic.
Here are a few excerpts from Chapter 25 of the book where Miller reflects on story while listening to a speaker at a conference on writing:
"The first part of a story happens fast, and you think the thing is going to be over soon. But it isn’t going to be over soon. The reward you get from a story is always less than you thought it would be, and the work is harder than you imagined. It’s as though the thing is teaching you the story is not about the ending but about the story itself, about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle....I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought and they can’t see the distant shore anymore and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their wife, on their husband, they go looking for an easier story. Robert McKee [speaker at a conference] put his coffee cup down and leaned onto the podium. He put his hand on his forehead and wiped his grey hair back. He said you have to go there, you know. You have to take your character to the place where they just can’t take it anymore. He looked at us with a tenderness we hadn’t seen in him before. You’ve been there, haven’t you? You’ve been out on the ledge. The marriage is over now, the dream is over now, nothing good can come from this. He got louder. Writing a story isn’t about making your peaceful fantasies come true. The whole point of the story is the character arc. You didn’t think joy could change a person, did you? Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over. But it’s conflict that changes a person. He was shouting now. You put your characters through hell. You put them through hell. That’s the only way we change."
I think this is the chapter that stuck with me the most. What story really is. I agree with Miller. The reward you get from a story is always less than you thought it would be and harder than you imagined.
I rediscovered this during my 3 day retreat this week into the world of Suzanne Collin's bestselling trilogy The Hunger Games. I began book 1 Monday afternoon and finished it that night. I began the second book Tuesday after work and finished it before work on Wednesday. I bought the 3rd book and finished it before work on Thursday. It contends for the best trilogy I've ever read. Francine River's Mark of the Lion trilogy and Tolkein's Lord of the Rings are different genres. (Harry Potter, Twilight and Chronicles of Narnia are not trilogies and therefore excluded).
I was consumed with the story Collin's created. It incorporated every facet of story that my soul relishes. It had the adventure and action, the thought provoking issues, the flavor of romance and the twist of fantasy thrust into a riveting plot with incredible characters and depth. I was engulfed. However, as with all great stories that end, there is the cost. Characters die, or are irreversibly altered. The unthinkable happens, and devastation occurs. It is hard to read when I come to this part in a story. Part of me resists it with suffocating emotion, while the other part of me knows how crucial it is in making the story a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Oh how I hate what occurs, but I accept it all the same because it is necessary, in a way, for the story to be fulfilled. It would have not held me spell bound until the last page and even after had it not occurred the way it did.
And then I fall into the post-book depression in which I re-enter reality in a sort of dazed state as I try and process the end of one of the greatest stories I have ever read. It is always so difficult for me to exit one world and re-enter my own. Its like that for me in movies like Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and most of all Avatar (in theaters only). Those epic stories that have every element...love and hate, fear and loss, justice and mercy, life and death, good and evil, redemption and destruction, resolution and conflict...they satisfy my soul in some way.
I gave a speech at my high school graduation about how I wanted to live that kind of life- one fraught with the crucial elements of a great story, but that always ends with a happily ever after. As much as I love my happy endings though, its the stories that have the crooked but believable endings that I remember.
The Hunger Games trilogy was not my typical happy ending. Not all the characters survived, and not all that was good was preserved. I was heartsick over this because above all I want the conclusion to stories to be satisfactory in every respect.
But that is part of what made the story so great. It gave me Reality in Fantasy. I usually only go for truly Fantasy in Fantasy.
And the way stories touch me always drive me back to my Lord. I thank him for imagination, and the way he created us so amazingly that we can create Story that touches our heartstrings so firmly. And then I have to remind myself that there is no greater story being told than the one that I've living in. Every other story ever written was in some way based off of it. Because you can't have Story without characters. And you can't have characters without change. And you can't have change without conflict. And conflict brings us back to the journey for our own happy endings...wholeness, love, peace, hope. This is the force that drives humanity. This is the force that drives story. And that is the story of Jesus Christ. And that, dear friends, is a resolution that truly satisfies my soul. Because that is our story, and it is epic.
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