I've been heartsick lately.
Meyers-Briggs can't decide if I'm a Feeler or a Thinker. It changes its mind each time I take the test because I'm both. Not always a great combination when you are heartsick. You wear yourself out by doing nothing but going around in your head. That's why I'm a verbal processor. Its safer for my health.
I know a lot of people who are heartsick simply from the fear of the unknown. Fear= False Evidence Appears Real. But catchy little phrases don't really do much for me in the throng of the emotion.
So where do we go? Why are we surprised again, at how hard life is? Didn't Jesus say it would be this way, and that, oh by the way, He'd already dealt with it (John 16:33)?
Sometimes my little, weak, sickly heart just doesn't get it. So I have to remind myself. Again. And again. And discipline my thoughts to bend towards TRUTH and TRUST. And as we all know, it is oh so hard.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Your heart is the strongest muscle in your body. An average heart pumps around 1,900 gallons of blood each day. That is a very strong heart.
Your skin (flesh) is the largest organ in (or on) your body. Your skin has so many roles- insulation, sensation, prevention of water loss, and synthesis of vitamin D. Suffice it to say, without your heart or skin, you wouldn't live very long...at all. They are essential to life.
So what if your heart and skin did fail? You would die.
But God is the strength of my heart. Simply speaking, God trumps death (and everything it represents). Every time.
Sometimes my heart doesn't feel strong at all. It feels lonely, or worried, or upset, or overwhelmed, or guilty, or fractured. Usually because I'm not letting God be my strength...I'm trying to be my own strength.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Have you ever wanted, hoped for, wished for, prayed for something so hard or for so long that you grew sick over it? We all have, no doubt. Weary and discouraged, that's how we feel.
A sick and failing heart? Recipe for disaster.
So what is the remedy?
Defense. We're under attack.
The thief comes only to steal (your joy/hope/peace) and kill (your faith/trust) and destroy (your freedom/love); I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
LIFE. Beautiful, messy, ridiculous, hard, ugly, incredible, eternity-effecting, not-even-coffee-helps LIFE.
Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
How will He do it? How does He do it? How will I know when He's done it?
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
It is so straightforward. Its not a method, its a discipline. It's obedience. And it's not easy.
And yet I grow so weary of patience.
Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Take heart. He has overcome the world.
Take heart. LIFE. Strength. And see your longing fulfilled.
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Because I already have.
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